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shaking up or settling down

I was asked why I would leave my sanctuary, my owlie house, little creeper perch that I loved (my words, not the asker's, but implied in the question). Without thinking about it, I responded that it was time to shake things up. It immediately struck me as an interesting answer. Was I evading the subject? Why not just say, "because I'm moving in with my boyfriend," which is true? And why phrase it as shaking things up, when really it's what most people would say is settling down? Especially since I don't take things like moving in together lightly? Maybe, as a homebody introvert with an adventurous spirit, I just don't really understand the concept of settling down. I've always been settled down, until it feels like it's time to shake things up. Also maybe more truthfully, it has to do with my relationship to that apartment. My place. The first and only place that I ever selected as mine all mine, that I filled with myself to sit in and just f
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on losing one's self

At the end of December, I finished a book. The first book I completed since the beginning of August -- not counting textbooks, which I skip around in and don't completely finish either. Remember the year I read an average of 6 books a month? Nearly every other page of this book moved me to tears. Some was because of sadness, some was happiness, and some was just beauty. Of the words, of the character's action, of the meaning behind it all. Some was association, and all the loss that I still fail to fully comprehend, but am reminded of its depth from time to time.  It was difficult at first, and then extremely refreshing, to lose myself so completely in someone else's story for a minute. I never used to be so self-absorbed. Maybe it's not as temporary of a necessity as I thought, or maybe I just still have a lot of work to do. 
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that dystopic future i always found so fascinating

I awoke clear-minded this morning. Busy minded, a million thoughts coming and going and crashing around and into each other. A million things to say, replaced in a second by a million other things to say, billions of things I feel from the core need to be said. I say almost none. I release some in small doses, in private conversations to co-workers I trust will feel similarly here, since I am not yet up to adverse conversation. There's too much to measure and consider internally first. But some of these thoughts need a voice, a first step at classification. Or maybe they just need out. By clear-minded, I mean the absence of fog, that fog that looms nearly every day. Most days, I wave my hand to disperse the wisps from in front of my face, and wisp waving allows me to get through the day. But on rare days, my mind means business, like it ain't havin no fog. Today is such a day. It's too important to stand still with sight unclear. I can't stay trapped inside, inert, wh
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more than just a sagittarius

introversion, intuition, feeling, judgment idealist, counselor, advocate professor lupin, dumbledore sensitive, complex, empathetic, sharp, guarded, soft, courageous, rational, organized, messy, a mess that's why i'm doing this
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